Top 15 Reasons You Know You’re a River Surfer

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Badfish Sup athlete Claire Graff explains the in’s and out’s of being a different kind of river rat. You know you’re a river surfer when…

  1. You’ve picked your kid up from daycare in a wetsuit, more than once.
  2. Getting ready for work in the morning includes loading boards.
  3. You have a freaking awesome tan…on you hands.
  4. When the lineup is super long, you’re genuinely excited for your friend when they catch the wave, but then you sorta hope they fall quickly.
  5. You will snake the heck outta someone at the grocery store line, but observe excellent etiquette at the wave.
  6. Actual showers require reminders from family members. (But the river makes me feel so clean!)
  7. a. All of your coworkers go on vacation the same months of the year that you refuse to leave home. Points with the boss!
    b. Or…you work in the paddlesports industry or seasonally because you really just don’t understand how anyone can go to work everyday when the wave is so good.
  8. News of possible flood-level rains instills extreme excitement first, and concern for the safety of the community second (if at all).
You pick up your kid from day care in a wetsuit…

9. a. You’ve ever spent more than 15 minutes digging in your car for a fin key. b. You’ve “accidentally” stolen your friend’s fin key. c. You’ve thought to yourself, you should start a company that makes fin keys.

  1. a. Your significant other has been slowly warn down over several high-water seasons and now accepts your obsession and plans around it.
    b. Or…your significant other has learned river surfing and now shares your obsession so now you fight over the best board and who put the latest ding in.
  2. You think your shins look really weird when not bruised.
  3. During high water you check the gauges WAY more than your email.
  4. You livestream the wave webcam when you are supposed to be working.
  5. You’ve texted a friend saying, “I was watching you on the webcam!” (And neither of you think that’s at all creepy)
  6. Your day dreams and night dreams are dominated by waves, waves and more waves.